Thursday, April 13, 2017

Save The Last Dance For Me

(by Bill Glahn)

Capitalism has sure put a screwing to the word "save" during my lifetime. I mean - if you listen to the words of Poor Richard's Almanac, the mantra is "a penny saved is a penny earned." The notion was that if you put your money into a capitalist venture like a bank, real estate, or maybe a stock, you'd end up having more than what you started with. Of course, that almanac was written well before Black Tuesday in 1929. And if "ancient" history isn't convincing enough for some people, most anyone reading this certainly was alive during the housing meltdown of 2007 and the economic crash that followed. There is plenty of evidence that high risk is an inherent part of Capitalist theory. And little is left to the imagination as to why Mr. Richard was "poor." Remember this the next time someone tells you that Social Security (a Socialist concept and one of the greatest programs this country has ever developed) should be privatized for the benefit of our citizens.

If you play your cards close to the vest and invest prudently, you may well increase your monetary value. But for the average investor of the working class, this almost never means that you will increase your purchase power. These days, a dollar bill ain't worth one thin dime.



A Capitalist will leave you to die when things turn sour. That's my general beef. But that's not exactly the one I'm writing about today. It's the way the word "save" has been turned on it's ear by marketers to mean "spend."

I mean, shit. I get reminded maybe 50 times a day that I can "save" $5 by buying some thingamabob that normally costs $50 for a mere $45. Do I still have $45 for a rainy day? No. I have some piece of shit that is worth less the minute I walk out of the store (it ain't just cars) than it was before I walked in and my pocket is $45 lighter for the privilege. I will eventually pay even more money to have whatever crappy toy or appliance removed from the clutter of my home to a landfill. Whereupon I will spend even MORE money for a water purifier when the landfill springs a leak and contaminates the water supply. Gee, I wish I still had that $45.

Still, I live in this Capitalist society and try to do the best available things to just keep my head above water. That always means thinking twice when I am approached about "saving" this amount or that amount. Big screen TVs? My eyes aren't that bad yet. Smart phones will be joining all those flipper cell phones, which joined all those message beepers, which joined all those wall-mounted home phones and message recorders, which joined all those standard black Bell Telephone home units in the next available landfill. Wanna save something? How about the earth? You can still call me, if you wish, on my $5 home unit.

A message to retailers: No, I don't want your $1,000-a-piece triple chrome plated 18-inch wheels to put on my $2,000 clunkermobile. Even if I can "save" $250 each when they're on sale for $750 if I buy 4. No, I don't want to spend $2.00 for your can of beans with the fancy label and the branding licence from the "Smokey Joe's BBQ" chain of "upscale" dime-a-dozen restaurants. The farts they create don't smell any better than the ones with the generic no-frills label. I have a small tattoo. No, I don't need two full sleeves and a figure from this week's favorite gaming character plastered all over my back. And most certainly, not a snake tattoo creeping out of my pants onto my abdomen. I'd rather buy a lifetime supply of salts for that water purifier. And that includes if you are offering a "savings" of 25% off of your competitors price. Insurance companies? Save a forest and stop sending me those mailers for "cheap" funeral expense policies. Even if you offered that crap for free, I'd be the loser in the end. And for god's sake, will you communications companies STOP telling me I can "save" on my Internet service by upgrading to the next super duper service that you come up with. Mine works well enough to do a few blogs every year.

In fact, there may only be one place in American society where saving can still reap truly substantial rewards.


Bonus link. (Thanks John Floyd!)
Apparently, the copyright maximalists at Warner-Chappel have some objection to the original Platters link without first getting their pound of flesh. Here's an "official" link to The Drifter's version.

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